I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Only one of us thinks this is funny. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". Wait, what color is the fence? Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. Kids are terrifying. The sun is shining. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. Part of HuffPost Relationships. I got-Me: I know. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. 1. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. DON'T. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? I am like reeallly good at getting old. NOBODY MOVE. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Sign up to follow me here! If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. from the couch. My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. ". For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Im 40. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My kids knew that. Have a good weekend everybody! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. I'm getting popcorn. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. My daughter has an Instagram account now. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. Sign up to follow me here! 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Enjoy. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. Like obviously the answer is yes. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. Main Menu. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Jessie (@mommajessiec). My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Well, yeah. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. They started fighting. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. My sons friend came over for dinner. Birds are chirping. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. IE 11 is not supported. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 1. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. ". There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. Me: You mean red light, green light. ". The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Not you AND your baby!" Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. WANT. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Wishing you all a good weekend! Is it leave her in the woods? I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Hold on to it. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. handing in my dad card. Part of HuffPost Parenting. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.
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